I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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