i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
