i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
The power of my boobs compel you
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
