So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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