I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Small penises have feelings too.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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