No awkward lesbian experiences without me
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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