Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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