I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize