i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
