And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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