I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Randomize
