I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize