If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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