My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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