she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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