I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just found puke in my bra..
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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