Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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