Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
So squirting runs in the family.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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