she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
