I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
