Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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