I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
