Where is the hickey?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Randomize
