the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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