Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
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