Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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