her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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