I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
We need to get me chipped asap
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