dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
