Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
