he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
