im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
