he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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