My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
