i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
