I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize