Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
