Fine. I'll sleep in my office
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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