Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
