I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
