You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
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