Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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