So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
