we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Enjoy the penises
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
