In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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