Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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