I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
