i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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