party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He felt like a one man threesome
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
my liver is dry heaving
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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