I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
