You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
