Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
