Tell her she can't have a vagina
are you so shy because you have an std?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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