She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
