Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
