Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
