She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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