And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
