I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He passed out mid-signature
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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