Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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