You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
