Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
