you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
