i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
