just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
