I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize