she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
