But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
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