Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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