Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize