at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Vodka?
Forever.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
