I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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